I really worry that I have psyched myself out. I slept so poorly last night, worrying about this chapter. I can't recall having this experience with the other books. And also, I should chill because I have ended up throwing out the last chapter in each of the the novels I have published so far. What ends up happening is that I revise from the beginning and that process helps me write a better ending. But that doesn't mean that I don't have to work as hard as I can to write this chapter I must write to day.
It would mean so much to me to leave here with a completed draft. My agent has been gently nudging me, so my inner- good-girl is all ashamed of taking so long. I am also mad at myself from being so sidetrack by miscellaneous drama queens in my life. Coming to Martha's Vineyard was my way of getting back on track and it would be do rewarding to have this draft done, I feel like it's working.
But okay, enough of me being all scared and whiny. It's time to try and write it. Today is a day for long hand writing. As my friend Mark said,
Get all Montessori with it. Write in bed while lying on your tummy. I'm still writing upright, but I am thinking about that tummy option.
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